Im Sorry Baby.

Yeah.. This is what im doing now at almost 5 am.WEEP

I just Got back home... Great... first, in the afternoon, a man shout vulgarities on me without a valid reason... seriously im praying he would die tomorrow..

NOW..

Oh YA ALLAH!!!!!

What have i done? what have i done? I hurt My Hazwan's feeling today . AWESOME ANNA..

aren't you incredible? I made him cry, i made myself cry. I Made US bleed. i Made us heartbroken. Im a bad girlfriend.. And How sweetly he smiled and say its ok, everything is gonna be alright while i see it through his eyes that he is dying slowly and painfully inside.. I saw his heart shatters through his innocent eyes.. Though heartbroken, he hold my face n say ''I love you so much,and please dont you ever leave me''...

I promise, I'll never leave you alone... Though he's feeling pissed off, he caressed my hair and told me im beautiful. Though  his heart is in pain he kissed my forehead n hug me n whispers to my ear that he love me so much... Still smiling, still laughing, still disturbing me as he always do, still tickles me, still kiss my cheek just to make me smile even though he's holding a broken heart...

I promise.. I'll never leave you..

Today, today is the first time i ever felt that i have a boyfriend who really love me so much.. He's Afraid to let me go.. too afraid..Afraid i might leave him.. Afraid of losing my love. He wants to tressure every single second  he spend with me.. he wants to savor every kiss i gave him.. he wants to live with me forever. He vowed on his life for me.. And im being sooo Ingnorant..too ignorant to noticed all that until today...

Thank you for still giving me your trust n love n care n everything bby.

I have a curse... No matter which guy im close with.. NO MATTER WHO HE IS.. 

I cant be close to any guys.. i cant... while was close with my ex bf... as a friend last time,,, he fell in love with me...

n my another, n another n another ex... we were close friends before, they fell in love with me..

My Hazwan... My dearest beloved Hazwan... We were close friends... Best of Best guy friend i EVER had... We fell in love, now look where we are. =)

~~

Im scared.. Im scared To be close with any guys, they'd end up falling for me n worst, i might fall for them too. And i already did.. Im In Love with someone else, how bad can i be?... But..still.. i will choose my Hazwan to be my soulmate. I'll love him with ALL My Heart.. I'll give him all he want just to make him happy. I love You so much Hazwan. Im sorry. =').. Cant wait to see you tmr =')

I Love You....

With a Crooked Mind

Anna Alanna Tatianna