A Mother. Her Love Is All I Want.
Im NOT scared to say this, even if I Dont Have ANYONE to love me, even if dont have a boyfriend, the love from my father, the love from my brothers, i dont mind. All I Wanted All this while, Is The love from You, Mom.
I Love You So Much. I tried all my best to show you that i love you. If I Work, I'll try to shower you with gifts., Bake you cakes, TRY to clean the house. I admit MOST of the time, Im REALLY LAZY. I didnt get out from my room, doing my own thing,singing screaming, doing my things. I Cant be bothered most of the things that happened at home. Im Useless. Im Sick Of All This.
You are the most, MOST BEAUTIFUL Mother on earth! No Other Mothers Could compare to you. You Are funny, you made me laughed till i cried sometimes. Haha! I Love your sarcastic Jokes. HAHA! Funny.
Sometimes, When you are mad, you say all those mean things on me that made me go " Does a Mom talk like this to her daughter?". All those mean words, those REALLY harsh words, and you talk like that INFRONT of our tenant sometimes. Where do I put my pride? I NEVER, NEVER Did those HOrrible, disgusting, dirty things before in my life Like u said Mom!!! HOW COULD YOU?
All the things you accused me... Im swallowing it. I swallowed too much. i swallowed too much till im getting so frustrated about it. i remain silent when u say all those mean things.
When you nag at me.. Do i EVer Yell back at you? Mostly I'll just put on my earpiece, Slam my door, Throw all Things that im holding, showing my anger. I Dont Wanna hurt your feelings.
Sometimes i came home feeling happy, but your face is so sour sometimes. I know you are tired, you're stressed up with your life. But please dont do this to me? Im Not Afraid to say this. Are You Throwing back at me what you faced all of your life? Are You putting all the revenge On me? Im Innocent Mom.
I wish I Am REALLY your daughter. So that you'll love me 100%. Look at how cik Noor Love Kak Ina Even how "wild" she is.. Im Not Afraid to say this, Let the whole world know!! Im just borrowing, sharing A Little bit of your love with my brothers, your sons. Through all this years, Im your one and only daughter, the days you wash my butt, shower me with your love,buy me tons of gifts, do my hair, dress me up, put on makeups for me.
I Know It hurts you how i found out how u were not really my mom, i cant help it, put yourself in my shoes Ibu. IF, your mom, the one who took care of you, the one who love you eversince you were a baby, the one who wipe your tears, the one who scold you when you are wrong, the one who cry for you when you are sick, the one who fed you, the one who cure your bruises, the one who you called " Mom", is not actually your Mom.
I was Only 12 when i got to know all this. I was a young girl. A stupid young girl, who likes to show my tantrum.I Feel Lost. I wanna know who is my real mom that time, And i found out, she is a selfish, fucked-up bitch. And when i found out what she did to me. Do you see my pain mom? Its Still here. I wish i never knew that. When i was 6 years old, I asked Dad why in my health booklet, your name appears different, he says " well, they wrote wrongly". i was ok with that. Im growing up. I cant be dumb forever right?
Sigh........
All I wish from you is, stop hurting me with your words Mom, . When you were in your bad mood, i asked why sometimes, trying to show that im concern. Though i asked you why you'll nag saying " THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT". what did i do wrong? But Look back, when i, YOU ONE AND ONLY USELESS DAUGHTER is having a problem, she stays in her room all day, she dont eat, her face is sour, she cries to sleep, she's heart broken,.. Do you EVER, EVER come to me and ask. sit beside me on my bed and ask me " whats wrong?" like other moms did? NO.
You always see the bad side of me. All the good side of me? You Just ignored them all. And You'll nag n nag n nag about ALL THE BAD THINGS about me, even though i didnt even do all those things, and worst! you would nag at me Infront of people!. Where do i put my pride??
And whenever people talk about pride, you are going to NAG about YOUR pride! Whaaaaat?
I cant take it. Just stop saying all those mean things to me. Who am i to you? I've been waiting for you to answer this question for so long. Who Am I To You Ibu?
In My eyes, You'll always be the one and only Mother. I dont have A Mother.And I want you to continue loving me like Im your real daughter. The Girl You've been taking care ever since she was only 6 month old.
I know you love me right? I know YOu'll be mad after reading this, Please dont. Hug me like you used to when im a little girl if you love me still.. I Love You So Much. And I wont Stop Loving You Though You Didnt see it, God Knows. I Love YOu Ibu.
Quote Of The Day: When All You Feel Is running away and you can't seem to take your feet out from this home. Looking At Those Innocent faces Who STill needs your love. My Lil Brothers.. I Love You
With A Shattered Heart
Anna Alanna Tatianna
No comments:
Post a Comment